15 Things About ME

Sick day musings

You heard right, I took a sick day. I caught some nasty bug from the kids at work, and really wasn't up to facing the world today. Aside from the inability to keep anything in my system, today has been pretty relaxing. I woke up on time to go to work just in case nobody could cover my shift. As a result, I have had an entire day at home that wasn't wasted by sleeping.

I spent most of the morning writing a paper for my intercultural communication class. It is due tonight, but I submitted it via email so I didn't have to go in. The paper was based off of an interview I conducted last week. I interviewed a girl from the Philippines. We were pen pals when we were ten, and this is the first real conversation I have had with her since. It was also monumental for me because it was the first time I had ever had a spoken conversation with her... the first time I ever heard her voice. Whereas as a child, we exchanged letters, last week we had a video chat on Skype.

I know I sound ancient when I say this (and I'm only 22), but I find the advance in technology over the last decade to be absolutely astounding. Never in a million years would I have dreamed that I could have a face to face conversation with my friend from across the globe.

I am equally amazed by my cell phone. I remember when my parents got their first cell phones. They were clunky Nokia phones that didn't do much besides place a call (they did have that snake game though, which was pretty cool). Today, I can do so many things with my iPhone that you can hardly compare the two phones! Not only can I call, but I can also text, skype, play games, check my email... the list goes on! Again, I know I sound super old when I say things like this, but if you really stop to think about it, how can you NOT be amazed?

My interview with my pen pal also made me think a lot about American culture (I think that was the point of the assignment, anyway). In particular, it made me consider the issue of outsourcing. I understand that many Americans need work. I am extremely grateful for my job. However, after talking to my friend, I have come to know the other side of the story. She grew up in an orphanage because her mother couldn't afford to care for her. Hundreds if not thousands of children live on the streets. These jobs are vital to boosting their economy and placing roofs over their heads. I'm not saying that we don't need those jobs; all I'm saying is that the workers should not be villainized for taking them. They need them just as much as we do. My friend works in technical support for AT&T. She says that many Americans are polite when she speaks with them. However, she has many who are quite rude to her. I find it sad that we treat other humans with disdain simply for taking a job that wasn't offered to us. Outsourcing is a serious issue, I agree, but it is not fair to judge the worker for the corporation's decisions.

Anyways, sitting around all day with nothing but my thoughts (and my dog) to keep me company has made me really think about life in general. Maybe we all need to take days like this occasionally. Maybe the world would be a better place.

I'm on Youtube!

Hello readers! In addition to this blog, I have also created a Youtube channel under the name MissOddi. Check out my intro video and be sure to subscribe!

Good morning, readers! I know it has been ages since my last post, but it has been a crazy couple of months! Let me give you a brief recap to get you up to speed...

On July 1st, a mere week and a half after my last post, my roommate walked out on me. He didn't give any notice, and I was stuck with all the bills that were due pretty much right then. Because I was stupid and trusting, I didn't require a deposit from him due to the fact that he was family (again, I know it was stupid). So yeah, I immediately had a lot of unexpected expenses thrust upon me.

In recoil to my roommate's abandonment, I picked up as many shifts as I could at work, leaving me utterly exhausted. I also tried to find another roommate, but because my lease is up in December and there is no guarantee of renewal, I had a pretty tough time of it. After paying a few bills and doing some math, I decided to forgo the whole roommate experience and stick it out on my own. It has now been almost three months, and while money is tight, I am making it.

I'm also super happy with my decision to live alone. While some people are super social, I am definitely not when it comes to time at home. I am very sensitive to the energies in my home, and therefore do not like when people overstay their welcome (or live with me) because certain parts of the house become unbearable for me. With my former roommate, for example, I would become agitated or upset just by walking down the hallway towards his room. Now that I've cleaned (scrubbed, really) and cleansed the entire house after his departure, I feel at home again... in my own home. His old room, which was once mine, has been reclaimed and is now my beautiful craft room/office. I constantly burn my favorite incense in there, and my collection of fairies, what I call my "Fairy Forest" is proudly on display. While they are simply silly figurines, I do love them and find them to be highly inspirational.

In addition to all the changes at home, I have also entered my final semester of college. I only have nine credits left (three classes), and then I will have completed my degree in English. I'm so excited to be nearing completion! The fact that school is ending has forced a lot of decision making upon me. Do I go to grad school? Do I find a "real" job? What is the best career choice for me? Currently, I am torn. My dream in life is to be a writer. I love fantasy fiction, and I would say I have a decent skill set. However, I know how tough of a market fantasy fiction is to break into, so realistically speaking, I can't quit my day job. One solution I am considering right now is to work from home as a free-lance writer online. This would give me the flexible hours I want so I can work on my novel. However, it is hard to tell if I will be successful with this venture. I don't know if I can make enough money to pay my bills. It is scary to jump feet first into working from home. Right now I'm testing the waters on my days off, and so far I've been OK. If I go this route, my goal is to be working from home, full-time, by Christmas.

The other option I'm considering is to attend grad school and become a librarian. I love books, and libraries are some of the most magical places on the planet. I can see me doing this job as a career, but #1, I'm not sure I would love it, and #2, grad school is quite the investment for a job that won't pay that much in the end. I just can't decide.

I'm leaning towards working home for at least a little while. If I find down the road that I miss being part of the regular work force, I can always return to school and pursue librarianship, right? I'm horrible with making decisions, and because this one will likely play a huge role in defining who I am as an adult, I am especially struggling with this.

So yeah, a lot has been going on in my life of late, an I have much to look forward to. I've been especially inspired to be creative lately, so I hope to return to this blog with a gusto. I'm also working on a new Youtube channel, but I'm not sure what I will talk about on there just yet. I'll post more information once it becomes available, so stay tuned. In the meantime, love and light to all of you blessed readers!

So yeah... summer classes SUCK!

During the regular school semester, I procrastinate.  I do. I can't help it! I just have way more fun things to be doing than writing literary analysis, sorry.  However, during the summer, my list of fun things grows exponentially!  I'm taking three summer classes this year (one at a time), and I've just begun the second one.  What I've learned so far is that it is physically impossible for me to do any summer class homework until the day it is due.  This is really not good because: a) it's an online class with seriously stupid morning deadlines b) they are art history classes so I'm writing about stuff I don't really know c) the assignments have retarded word minimums so I find myself using passive voice and terrible word choice just to hit the limits d) all of the above. While I like all the pretty pictures, I hate writing about them! I don't know enough about art to do more than go, "This is pretty because I like the colors," and I KNOW that's not what she's looking for.  With an English paper, I can make up stuff until the cows come home and be relatively accurate because I know what I'm doing. With these papers, I'm still making stuff up.  The only difference is, I don't actually have a clue about what I'm doing. It sucks and I hate it.

In other news, I'm supposed to be doing yard work today.  It is raining.  Somehow I don't think the yard work is going to get done.  I saw a little bird with a worm outside and it looked super cold so I don't think I want to go out there. Who wants to be super cold like a little bird? Not me! Today is my only day off that isn't already filled up with stuff to do, though.  This detail makes my life a little difficult.  Maybe I'll call Granddad and see what he wants to do.  He has the truck for all the dirt we need to haul in, so hopefully he will be like, "screw it." Then I can not do my yard work and not feel guilty at the same time!

So I know this has kinda been pointless and ranty and poorly written.  Deal with it.  I am.  I've been up since five and have already written a five page paper this morning.  All my good writing has been used up on a pointless comparison of two medieval bestiaries. 

Better Today

So I'm officially two and a half weeks out from the end of the semester! In the last week, I managed to pull off some pretty huge assignments. I finished two annotated bibliographies (haven't gotten the grades back for these yet), a speech about how Rachel Carson manipulates grammar to enhance her rhetoric in Silent Spring (A), and a paper analyzing my own use of grammar (A).  I feel like I'm finally on the downhill slope of things.  All I have left is an 8-10 page research paper on Don DeLillo's White Noise, a 10-15 page research paper on the role of women as veterinarians in 15-17th century literature, an Advanced Grammar final (should be a cake-walk), and a 400-question Practical Meteorology final.  I have a lot of work ahead of me, but the end is in sight! Yay!

Just a week after my last final, I fly out to Alabama to see my sister graduate high school.   She's pretty amazing.  If everything goes according to plan, I will also be watching her first ballroom dance competition on May 22.  The plan, my friends, can be viewed here.  If you love me (and especially if you don't) you will see what she has to say.

While anxiously awaiting my upcoming trip, I've found myself having a lot of obnoxious migraines -- all of which are, I believe, related to my massive amount of stress.  For instance, on Sunday, I left work early to have Easter lunch with my family at Grandma's house.  I felt fine.  When I got home, I sat down to watch my fish and check for any guppy babies (sadly, I still haven't found any).  I still felt fine.  Fifteen minutes later, I was in my room with the door closed, shades drawn, and covers over my head because of a ridiculous migraine that pretty much made me want to die.  This same migraine delivered two aftershocks on Monday and Tuesday, rendering both days useless homework-wise.  I used to never get headaches like this.  Now I'm averaging 1-2 a week. 
Today has been much better, however.  I only had a tiny headache this afternoon, but as soon as I ate, it quickly dissolved.  I also used my $10 off coupon at JC Penny's to buy a new pair of khaki pants; my one pair of work pants developed a hole in the knee last night, so I needed to replace them. I was pretty excited to see they were having a huge sale on anything, and almost walked out of that store with way more stuff than I needed (or could really afford).  My better judgment prevailed for once, and I simply left with the one pair of pants for ten bucks.  So yeah, no headache, a great shopping deal, and only 4 hours of work scheduled for this evening have me in a pretty good mood.

Happy Easter, everyone! In true Colorado fashion, I woke up to find snow on the ground this morning.  We never seem to have snow on Christmas or New Years, but it is pretty much a given on Easter and Halloween.  By noon the snow was melted, but at least it was there this morning.
I was scheduled to work today from 9-6. I'm not sure why; who the hell is going to feel like working out on Easter? Even people who don't observe the religious side of the holiday are going to use it as an excuse to gorge themselves and hang out with friends and family.  As usual on Sundays, I worked the front desk.  By ten o'clock, we only had about fifteen kids. It was so predictably slow.  My boss started sending people home around noon, and I was the first to go.
After I stopped by my house to change out of my uniform and put the dog outside, I went to my grandma's house for lunch with all the extended family. It was great to see them on a happy occasion for once (earlier this month -- on my birthday, no less -- we gathered for my great aunt's funeral). While the energy was a little different without my Aunt Sharon's physical presence (I'm sure some part of her was still there), we still had a great time just being family. 
It is weird to see all my second cousins' kids growing up.  The house was full of toddlers today, and three more babies are due in the next couple of months... one of them being my first nephew!  Needless to say, the epic Easter egg hunt was a success, as usual.  Since most of us older children were unable to attend, the eggs were all filled with candy and pennies.  Two years ago the eggs were pretty much all stuffed with money.
I drove away from Grandma's thinking how lucky I am to have such a huge and loving family.  My family is so large that I literally don't know everyone's names, nor do they all know mine.  Despite this, at each family gathering the air is so filled with loving energy that it practically crackles and hums.  You may not feel well when you get there, but somehow you always manage to have a blast.
After Easter lunch, I went home to get some homework done. I have another annotated bibliography due tomorrow evening, so I needed to knock that out tonight.  However, within about fifteen minutes of crossing the threshold, I developed a massive migraine that put me out of commission for the next five or six hours.  My head still hurts a little, but I'm trying to gear myself to at least work on some of my bibliography. I'll have four hours tomorrow to finish it up, but I'd like to have a pretty large chunk completed tonight.
These migraines are driving me bonkers.  Right now, I'm averaging about two a week... not good when you have as much homework as I do.  The really difficult thing is how quickly they show up. I literally went from feeling great to hiding under my covers to block the light in a quarter of an hour.  That doesn't give me much time to head it off.  Once one hits, all I can do is take some medicine and try to sleep it off; I'm so sound and light sensitive that my roommate can't even do anything at this end of the house without making me absolutely miserable.  I wish I could figure out what causes these migraines and how I could prevent them.  I never had them before, so I think a big part of it is that I have too much on my plate right now.  Hopefully my smaller work load after this semester will be enough to keep me from getting any more migraines.
Do you get migraines often?  How long to they take to develop, and what do you do to prevent/treat them? Leave a comment in the box below.

Another Day, Another Accident

So I got sent home from work an hour early today.  Unlike yesterday and the day before, it wasn't because we were overstaffed and I volunteered to leave.  Rather, I got to go because a kid peed on me! I am so not a fan.  Luckily, I have my hoarding tendencies to fall back on and I had a pair of sweats in the trunk of my car.  I changed in the front seat with a jacket over my lap; there was no way I was going to stay in those pants any longer than I needed to.  I was upset at first, but then I realized it was the Universe using its sense of humor to get me out of work so I could get homework done (which I'm going to work on as soon as I'm done with this post).  The only thing I'm really bummed about is I when I threw my work pants in the wash, I forgot about the Pokewalker I had in my pocket.  I have it sitting out on the windowsill in the guest bedroom. Hopefully it will dry and return to working order.

I'm in the most relaxing room of my house right now, surrounded by my two fish tanks and my dog.  In my 77, I have a bunch of peaceful community fish who swim around lackadaisically. My 55 is filled with much more active fish who zip about from place to place.  Admiring the contrast between the two habitats leaves me feeling balanced and centered. I don't need to be as crazy as my giant danios, but I should be less lazy than my wandering guppies.

I'm still having trouble getting myself motivated to do my homework. I know it is due by five tomorrow, but I'm struggling with convincing myself to care. I'm so exhausted at this point that a nap sounds divine, and just about everything else sounds like way too much work.  I've been procrastinating more this semester than I ever have, and that is saying a lot coming from me.  My big problem is that I can't figure out how to force myself to cut it out and get my work done.  In the past, I've always been able to pull things off at the last minute.  I just feel like that won't work this time.

Senseless Nothing

Yet again, I want to post a blog without knowing what I want to say. I'm beginning to think I just need to write something non-academic to avoid a meltdown.
Today I went to class and delivered my grammar analysis speech based on Rachel Carson's Silent Spring. If you aren't familiar with her work, familiarize yourself. Seriously. Carson is pretty much amazing for a variety of reasons, but I love Silent Spring for the impact it has had on the United States and, to some degree, the entire world.  My speech focused on how Carson manipulates grammar to reinforce her rhetorical argument.  Her sentence structures mirror the points she is making.  Anyways, I went to deliver my speech (I went second in the class), and I had a major technology malfunction.  While I could get my Powerpoint to show up on the projector, I couldn't call up my notes on the computer because it wouldn't recognize the projector as a separate screen.  So, I pretty much delivered my speech extemporaneously/slightly from memory.  Yay for that Advanced Public Speaking course I took a few years ago.  I got 19/20, so I'm pretty happy.
After school, I went home to work on homework, but was distracted for several hours by my siblings calling me on the phone.  As much as I have to get my homework done, talking to my brother and sister is far more important to me... especially considering the fact that they live on the other side of the country.  I've been really depressed lately, so spending time with them today was great.
Only half an hour into my shift this evening, I was sent home because we were overstaffed. I didn't mind; I volunteered. The only thing that annoyed me is that they didn't call me before I left the house. With gas prices climbing, I would have been more than happy to just stay home altogether.
This evening I tried (rather unsuccessfully) to work on my annotated bibliography for American Lit.  Out of the ten entries, I have one complete and another halfway done.  Like I have every night for the last few weeks, I got really depressed/unmotivated around seven and haven't done anything since.  I should have at least gone to bed rather than waste all my time online, but oh well. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. It will be; the stupid assignment is due Friday.

I know this has been a long, rambling post about a whole lot of nothing, but I just needed to get something on here. I may be losing my mind, but at least I'm writing in the process... now if I could just find the inspiration to get this need focused on my novel.

I don't know what it is, but I felt led to post a blog today. I know I haven't been on here in ages; I also know nobody will read this, but whatever.
This semester has been trying to say the least.  I knew from the beginning it would be hard, but I am still amazed at how busy and exhausted I am all the time.  It started with me getting a new job and my own place.  I love that I have my own home now, and my job is fantastic.  However, working 40+ hours a week to keep up with bills is certainly taxing on both my body and my studies.  My main problem right now is I can't seem to muster up the motivation necessary for completing my assignments.  This is obviously a problem as I'm entering the last three weeks of class.  I have a speech due tomorrow, an annotated bibliography on Friday, another annotated bibliography on Monday, an 8-10 page research paper next Friday, and a 10-15 page research paper due the Monday after that.  Despite, or perhaps because of, this massive mountain of homework, I can't seem to focus on it long enough to get it done.  I'm at the point now where I'll do anything - even make a post on my dusty blog - to avoid my homework.  I don't know if I'm overwhelmed, uncaring, too tired, or a mixture of the three.  What I do know is that I am having the hardest time doing what I know I need to get done to be successful.  This is such a strange space for me to be in, and I can't work out how to overcome it.  I've tried grounding and centering, but it doesn't really seem to be helping.  When I meditate, I fall asleep.  None of the things I normally do to calm me down and get me to focus seem to have an effect.  I know that I'm manifesting this negative energy through my thoughts and actions, but even this conscious knowledge feels insurmountable. 
I'm at that point where I need an outside perspective to give me guidance.  Nothing I try is working, and I'm fed up.  I am trying to trust that God and the Universe will bring everything back into order, but my house is a mess, my car is a wreck, my studies are in shambles, and my grades are so close to being in the crapper that I can almost smell it.  If things don't change, I'm going to lose my mind (Who's to say I haven't already?).