I don't know what it is, but I felt led to post a blog today. I know I haven't been on here in ages; I also know nobody will read this, but whatever.
This semester has been trying to say the least.  I knew from the beginning it would be hard, but I am still amazed at how busy and exhausted I am all the time.  It started with me getting a new job and my own place.  I love that I have my own home now, and my job is fantastic.  However, working 40+ hours a week to keep up with bills is certainly taxing on both my body and my studies.  My main problem right now is I can't seem to muster up the motivation necessary for completing my assignments.  This is obviously a problem as I'm entering the last three weeks of class.  I have a speech due tomorrow, an annotated bibliography on Friday, another annotated bibliography on Monday, an 8-10 page research paper next Friday, and a 10-15 page research paper due the Monday after that.  Despite, or perhaps because of, this massive mountain of homework, I can't seem to focus on it long enough to get it done.  I'm at the point now where I'll do anything - even make a post on my dusty blog - to avoid my homework.  I don't know if I'm overwhelmed, uncaring, too tired, or a mixture of the three.  What I do know is that I am having the hardest time doing what I know I need to get done to be successful.  This is such a strange space for me to be in, and I can't work out how to overcome it.  I've tried grounding and centering, but it doesn't really seem to be helping.  When I meditate, I fall asleep.  None of the things I normally do to calm me down and get me to focus seem to have an effect.  I know that I'm manifesting this negative energy through my thoughts and actions, but even this conscious knowledge feels insurmountable. 
I'm at that point where I need an outside perspective to give me guidance.  Nothing I try is working, and I'm fed up.  I am trying to trust that God and the Universe will bring everything back into order, but my house is a mess, my car is a wreck, my studies are in shambles, and my grades are so close to being in the crapper that I can almost smell it.  If things don't change, I'm going to lose my mind (Who's to say I haven't already?).